MMJ Teaching - Pornography: The Silent Drug

As you all know, this was a very successful night in reaching the hearts of the eighteen men that were present at the meeting.

“A tragic irony is that many couples will never experience the joyous potential of marital intimacy because of the distraction and dissipation caused by one spouse’s pornography use.”

--- http://www.unityrestored.com/

If you weren't able to make it to the meeting, find the link below to download the entire teaching provided by Tony.

I encourage you to read through the material as this will continue to be a key topic that MMJ will not cease to fight until we can declare victory over spiritual death and marital sufferings through the consumption of pornography.

Download the full teaching below:

Dare To Be Great - Commitment to Excellence

Father Todd's outline will be placed here shortly. Until then take a moment to enjoy the recording. (9:27)


To download the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".

Dare To Be Great - Real Men Bleed

Randy's outline will be placed here shortly. Until then take a moment to enjoy the recording. (7:49)


To download part 1 of the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".

Part 2 and Father Todd's reflection (20:15)

To download part 2 of the teaching and Father Todd's reflection, right click here and choose "save as".

Dare To Be Great - Men Raising Men

Kevin Whelan's outline will be placed here shortly. This information is used by permission from Kevin Whelan.

Until then take a moment to enjoy the recording. (35:54)


To download the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".

Also hear Father Todd's reflection: (13:29)

To download the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".

Dare To Be Great - Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

Key #1: Be There

• Fact: Psychologists, physicians, and researchers spend untold time and money researching what keeps kids on the right trace—away from drugs, gangs, drinking and sex. And what do they find over and over again? What parents already know: you are the key to your daughter’s excellence and happiness.
  
• Fact: Daughters who spend more time with their fathers are less likely to drink, take drugs, have sex as teenagers, or have out-of-wedlock babies.
  
• Fact: Troubled young women spend most of their time in counseling describing the hurt they felt from fathers who abandoned them, retreated from their lives, or ignored them.
  

You are the most influential male influence in her life. What she is going to learn about men she is going to learn primarily from you. Nothing is more important then spending time with your daughter daily. Get into her everyday life.

Full teaching available here.

Use the player below to listen (36:57):

To download the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".
Also hear Father Todd's reflection: (17:06)

To download the teaching, right click here and choose "save as".

Fighting Back -- Eighteen Men At A Time

Gents – I am happy to report that there was a record turnout this past Friday night at MMJ.  Eighteen men attended the night on fighting pornography and it was one of our most powerful MMJs to date.  Thanks to everyone for coming and especially those men that displayed immense courage in sharing their struggles.  I think this was a great start to battling the plight of pornography and a big step in taking back the honor, purity, and strength that has been stolen by Satan.  Rest assured there will be more to come on this subject as it is an MMJ focus topic for 2008.

If you couldn’t make this past Friday, this is an early reminder that we will be gathering once again on Friday Feburary 1^st to here Greg give his first teaching on Lent.  Lent starts early this year (Feb 6^th) and I can’t think of a better way to prepare then coming to MMJ where we will jump into the reasons behind the season.  

MMJ is from 7-9PM with free pizza starting at 6:30 and poker afterwards for those who would like to stay (congrats to Vinny who dominated the table this past Friday - way to go Vinny!).

As always, let me know if you plan on coming – feel free to invite a friend.  I hope to see you there.

In Christ,

Tony

How to win battles without using God as a weapon

Boy, I really needed to hear this. 

For some time, I've been drawn to learn more about the Catholic Church.  I've been Catholic since birth and have always relied on my FAITH as the foundation for what I believe.  While that sounds correct, I felt (and still do) that I don't really KNOW my FAITH or, rather, KNOW the CATHOLIC CHURCH.

So, for the last few months -- encouraged by conversations with a non-Catholic -- I've been on a quest to learn as much as I could through books, tapes, CDs, and knowledgeable Catholic folks.  This has been such a blessing for me -- and a struggle.

Now, feeling better equipped and prepared for questions, I'm finding myself suddenly uneasy in my recent conversations about Catholicism.  Not the topic, but the approach.

Well, I found this reflection for today's Mass readings which really hit home.

What do you think? 

How do you prepare for battle? 

Are you picking fights or letting the Spirit lead you in to battle?

---

Good News Reflection - Good News Ministries (www.gnm.org)  
Thursday of the First Week in Ordinary Time
January 17, 2008

Today's Memorial: Saint Anthony, abbot
http://wordbytes.org/saints/DailyPrayers/AnthonyAbbot.htm

Today's Readings:
1 Samuel 4:1-11
Ps 44:10-11, 14-15, 24-25 (with 27b)
Mark 1:40-45
http://www.usccb.org/nab/011708.shtml

How to win battles without using God as a weapon

Why were the Israelites defeated in today's first reading? And why did God allow the Ark of the Covenant to be captured?

They had failed to discern and follow God's will. They thought that having the Ark in their possession guaranteed their success. We make the same mistake when we use the Bible or Church documents (today's Ark of the Covenant) to prove our point in arguments or when we use it as a weapon to judge and condemn morally erring people.

Have you ever wanted to use Church Law to force others into attending Mass, warning them about mortal sin and eternal damnation? We have only the best of intentions, right? But this is no better than the ploy some Protestants use to "save" Catholics when they quote from our Church's teachings — out of context — to claim that we're going to hell.

To win a battle, we cannot use apologetics; this a tool for explaining Church teachings to someone who's already interested in hearing the explanation. Testimonies and a faith well lived is what will bring an unbeliever to conversion or an inactive Catholic back to the Eucharist.

Before defending any truth, we must first pray and discern if the time is right to speak up. Unless the Holy Spirit has first prepared the hearer to recognize the truth that we speak, we're only wasting our breath. We can do more harm than good. We're carrying the ark into battle without the Lord's protection.

If you want to promote change in others, first pray about their inner motivations: What makes them do what they do? How is sin motivating them to continue sinning? Listen for the Lord's inspiration on how to meet some of their needs, thus giving them the gift of Christ before mentioning the name of Christ. Watch for the Lord to do the groundwork — their soil must be tilled and fertilized. Your prayers will help wither the weeds as the Gardener does his work.

During this preparation time, speak the truth silently but loudly in the way you live. Although this might seem to be too little, it's much more effective than verbally trying to force others to change. Listen for the Lord's "go ahead, speak up now." Until he gives us the words to speak, the truth will only cause arguments and failure.

When people are ready to hear the truth, they ask questions or show a desire to find help for an inner struggle. This is your cue. You are now in a position of ministry and God's victory is guaranteed. You can take the ark onto the battlefield and sit down with the enemy and open it together to look at the truth that it holds.

Isn't that how God converted you?

What Industry Makes More $$$$ Than -- NBA, MLB, NFL, ABC, NBC, CBS -- COMBINED????

Did you know that 72 million people visit pornographic web sites annually?  Or that the total revenue from porn exceeds the total revenue of the NBA, MLB, NFL, ABC, NBC, CBS – combined?   With the advent of the Internet, the number of men suffering from pornography addiction has exploded.  One clinic reported a nearly 400% increases in addiction cases in the past 5 years alone.  Without a doubt, this problem is exploding and you, your wife, children, and family are its victims.

As men, one of our prime roles is that of protector and in that role we are called to be pure and holy so that we can offer that to our wives/girlfriends, children, and family.  When they look at you do they see someone who is pure and able to defend their innocence?  That is what God asks of each and every one of us and it’s not easy in a world where pornography is a key stroke away…

Come to MMJ this Friday and hear first hand from those that have struggled with pornography, fought it, and are winning.  And it’s not just them, but their marriages, relationships, and children that are winning too.  This night will equip you more then ever to take up the fight and be successful either for you or someone you know.  So come to MMJ this Friday so that you can equip yourselves with the tools and approach to take on the fight against porn and win.  MMJ is 7-9PM with free pizza starting at 6:30PM and poker afterwards for those that want to hang out.

Let me know if you plan on coming and please feel free to bring a friend.  I hope to see you there!

In Christ,

Tony

Next MMJ Meeting - January 18th - Pornography: The Silent Drug -- Fight Back

Gents –  Our next MMJ is Friday, January 18^th and it is on the startling impact Internet pornography is having on men.  The problem is so pervasive and severe that the priests in diocese of Maryland complained to their bishop that they are ill-prepared for the onslaught of confessions that have been growing over the past several years and have now reach epidemic proportions.   The number of men coming into the confessionals confessing addiction to Internet pornography has overwhelmed the ability of the clergy to deal with the issue.  Because of this problem, the Bishop of the Maryland diocese asked for help from the Alpha and Omega Institute.  This organization is a unique clinic that takes the best of modern psychology and combines it with the tenants of the Catholic faith in order to provide very effective faith based psychotherapy.  Dr. Art Bennett is the director of the institute and has developed a program that gets at the root of the problem – so there is hope!

I don’t know about you, but it makes me angry to see how effective Satan has been in using the Internet to erode the fighting spirit of men when it comes to this issue.  Not just secular men that are not convicted that pornography is wrong, but committed Christian men who know better, but are enslaved to this very powerful temptation.  I felt something must be done… 

Well, this upcoming MMJ is the battle cry you have been waiting for!  Chances are very good that you have either struggled with this issue or know someone who has – past, present, and future.  If so, please come and bring a friend to the next MMJ as we cover the following areas:

The plight of Internet pornography – how widespread is it?

The Internet and the video camera – technology’s potent combination to ensnare even the strongest of men.

The devastating impact pornography has on marriages and relationships.

The toll pornography has on your children innocence.

Are you addicted?  A litmus test to answer that question.

What can be done?  Powerful, faith based, weapons to attack the problem at it’s very roots…

Effective techniques to take the fight to the enemy and win!

I pray that you will join me and Father Todd Belardi as we take this subject head-on in a night that is sure to be open, honest, and very powerful.  There is no need to sit back any longer and wonder if anything is being done to help men win this battle – MMJ is leading the way.  Are you with us??? 

Let's break the previous MMJ record of 17 and get at least 20 men to this night.  Please feel free to forward this information to others and invite them to come with you.

Teaching Notes for “Blind Spots - Objects are Closer Than They Appear"

Below you will find the teaching notes from Jack. With more than a dozen men in attendance, the discussion we had was terrific.

• What does it mean to have an accountability partner?
• What happens when these partners meet?
• How do you know if the partnership needs to dissolve?
• How to troubleshoot partnerships?
• When should accountability partners meet?

In addition to Jack's teaching, found below, he provided two assessment guides. The first should be completed by you. Take note of the meanings for the number values and how they apply to the particular item you're assessing.

The second assessment can be completed either by your accountability partner or spouse or close friend; someone that can provide an objective assessment of you.

Downloads:

• Self Assessment --
• Partner Assessment --

Jack, thank you for the hard work pulling this information together and presenting it to the group last Friday.

---

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Christian accountability is:

• Simply being responsible for one's actions
  
• A check and balance system to protect us from harm from ourselves and others
  
• A gift we give ourselves
  
• Sacrifice of time and pride offered to God
  
• A means of discipleship where we humble ourselves before God and others
  
• A way to build the Christian community
  
  

  
  

  The goal of Christian accountability is:
  

• Our spiritual formation which is Christian maturity, growth, and character derived from God working in us and our working out our faith with one another
  
• To help us identify blind spots
  
• To create a system for continual self improvement
  

2 Dimensions of Accountability

Internal

• Romans 14:12 says, "So then each of us shall give account of himself to God."
  
• The internal dimension with God is primary
  
• We invite Him to examine our behaviors as well as our motives
  
• We recognize that He knows us better than we know ourselves.
  
• We surrender to God our deepest needs, hopes, and dreams, and in surrender find food for our souls.
  
• Matt. 12:36; Rom. 2:16; 14:2; 1 Cor. 3:10-15; 4:5; 2 Cor. 5:10

External

• Galatians 6:1-2 gives a helpful principle, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
  
• The external dimension of accountability occurs in community with other Christians
  
• Having examined ourselves before God we offer what we have learned about ourselves to a few, safe individuals, and they in turn, do the same
  
• John 13:34; Philip. 2:4; James 5:16; Heb. 10:23-24
  

Good accountability includes:

• At least one accountability partner
  
• Describing our experiences and inviting feedback
  
• Acceptance of criticism (given in the right way)
  
• High level of confidentiality
  
• Regular scheduled meetings
  
• Commitment – accountability must be a priority
  
• Communication on ground rules or a code of conduct, clearly emphasizing confidentiality and equal time.
  
• Clear definition on the areas of accountability
  
• A list of accountability questions to be answered during meetings
  
• Active listening: James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
  
• Seeking professional help where necessary
  
• Using Christ as a compass
  
• Spiritual tools, such as prayer, Scripture, and the Sacraments
  

A good accountability partner:

• Respects confidentiality
  
• Is willing to confess his own shortcomings (a measure of your ability to trust him and your safety with him)
  
• Is your equal
  
• Is willing to be flexible and surrender his time when you need extra time and care
  
• Models the traits to which we aspire (we need relationships with men who are spiritually qualified to serve without placing them on a pedestal)
  
• Is behaviorally focused – They don't tempt us with immoral activities
  
• Is cognitively clean – They don't pollute our minds with ungodly thoughts
  
• Is emotionally relevant – They encourage us to be open and truthful
  
• Is spiritually renewed – They consistently invest themselves in our personal relationship with God
  
• Is non-judgmental. Remember, we can be accepting of an individual while being discerning of the situation. Matthew 7:1-2 says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
  
• Is caring. 1 John 4:21 says, "And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
  
• Relates to your experience:
  It is helpful when the group shares a common bond or has been through similar experiences. People who relate to one another can empathize and share with an understanding heart. People can feel comfortable in sharing their circumstances, and can be totally accepted without fear of rejection
  
• Is non-confrontational
  

Troubleshooting

• Judgmental attitude
  
• Spiritually superiority
  
• Religious legalism - can destroy trust and a willingness to be known
  
• Parent-child dimension
  
• Complaining / venting
  

Like everything else in the Christian life, our experience with accountability matures over time

Weekly Mass Readings - January 13, 2008

The Baptism of the Lord

Isaiah 42:1-4, 6-7
Ps 29:1-4, 9-10 (with 11b)
Acts 10:34-38
Matt 3:13-17
http://www.usccb.org/nab/011308.shtml

Next Sunday we celebrate the "initiation rite" that launched Jesus' public ministry. We, too, have experienced this same Baptism: Our first Sacrament of Initiation immersed us into the life of Christ. The other two initiation sacraments — Confirmation and Communion — confirm this holy life and empower us to live it. Thus says the Lord God about you: "Here is my servant whom I uphold, my chosen one with whom I am pleased, upon whom I have put my Spirit...." (see the reading from Isaiah).

What is this Spirit doing in you that is pleasing to the Father? How is this Spirit serving the kingdom of God through you? Are you giving this Spirit the freedom to continue Christ's ministry in the here and now?

You were baptized into this, but it's the hardships you've endured and the passions you feel that have initiated you into your own particular areas of ministry. This is why children of chronically or terminally ill parents often grow up to become doctors and nurses, why those who escape from and recover from abuses often become ministers of healing for other victims, and why workers who suffer from unjust employers often start their own businesses and create jobs where the staff is treated in the manner of Christ.

Whatever you feel passionate about, you've received this from the Passion of Christ through the Sacrament of Baptism. If you give it attention, it's renewed in the Sacrament of Communion, because the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist reunites you to his ministry. If you take it with you from church, you can change the world, just as Christ did, one day at a time.

And if you feel frustrated because you're not yet doing what you'd like to do, as long as it's something that God wants you to do, you're being prepared, not blocked. You have been chosen by the Father and he is very pleased with you!