Teaching Notes for “Blind Spots - Objects are Closer Than They Appear"

Below you will find the teaching notes from Jack. With more than a dozen men in attendance, the discussion we had was terrific.

• What does it mean to have an accountability partner?
• What happens when these partners meet?
• How do you know if the partnership needs to dissolve?
• How to troubleshoot partnerships?
• When should accountability partners meet?

In addition to Jack's teaching, found below, he provided two assessment guides. The first should be completed by you. Take note of the meanings for the number values and how they apply to the particular item you're assessing.

The second assessment can be completed either by your accountability partner or spouse or close friend; someone that can provide an objective assessment of you.

Downloads:

• Self Assessment --
• Partner Assessment --

Jack, thank you for the hard work pulling this information together and presenting it to the group last Friday.

---

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Christian accountability is:

• Simply being responsible for one's actions
  
• A check and balance system to protect us from harm from ourselves and others
  
• A gift we give ourselves
  
• Sacrifice of time and pride offered to God
  
• A means of discipleship where we humble ourselves before God and others
  
• A way to build the Christian community
  
  

  
  

  The goal of Christian accountability is:
  

• Our spiritual formation which is Christian maturity, growth, and character derived from God working in us and our working out our faith with one another
  
• To help us identify blind spots
  
• To create a system for continual self improvement
  

2 Dimensions of Accountability

Internal

• Romans 14:12 says, "So then each of us shall give account of himself to God."
  
• The internal dimension with God is primary
  
• We invite Him to examine our behaviors as well as our motives
  
• We recognize that He knows us better than we know ourselves.
  
• We surrender to God our deepest needs, hopes, and dreams, and in surrender find food for our souls.
  
• Matt. 12:36; Rom. 2:16; 14:2; 1 Cor. 3:10-15; 4:5; 2 Cor. 5:10

External

• Galatians 6:1-2 gives a helpful principle, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
  
• The external dimension of accountability occurs in community with other Christians
  
• Having examined ourselves before God we offer what we have learned about ourselves to a few, safe individuals, and they in turn, do the same
  
• John 13:34; Philip. 2:4; James 5:16; Heb. 10:23-24
  

Good accountability includes:

• At least one accountability partner
  
• Describing our experiences and inviting feedback
  
• Acceptance of criticism (given in the right way)
  
• High level of confidentiality
  
• Regular scheduled meetings
  
• Commitment – accountability must be a priority
  
• Communication on ground rules or a code of conduct, clearly emphasizing confidentiality and equal time.
  
• Clear definition on the areas of accountability
  
• A list of accountability questions to be answered during meetings
  
• Active listening: James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
  
• Seeking professional help where necessary
  
• Using Christ as a compass
  
• Spiritual tools, such as prayer, Scripture, and the Sacraments
  

A good accountability partner:

• Respects confidentiality
  
• Is willing to confess his own shortcomings (a measure of your ability to trust him and your safety with him)
  
• Is your equal
  
• Is willing to be flexible and surrender his time when you need extra time and care
  
• Models the traits to which we aspire (we need relationships with men who are spiritually qualified to serve without placing them on a pedestal)
  
• Is behaviorally focused – They don't tempt us with immoral activities
  
• Is cognitively clean – They don't pollute our minds with ungodly thoughts
  
• Is emotionally relevant – They encourage us to be open and truthful
  
• Is spiritually renewed – They consistently invest themselves in our personal relationship with God
  
• Is non-judgmental. Remember, we can be accepting of an individual while being discerning of the situation. Matthew 7:1-2 says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
  
• Is caring. 1 John 4:21 says, "And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
  
• Relates to your experience:
  It is helpful when the group shares a common bond or has been through similar experiences. People who relate to one another can empathize and share with an understanding heart. People can feel comfortable in sharing their circumstances, and can be totally accepted without fear of rejection
  
• Is non-confrontational
  

Troubleshooting

• Judgmental attitude
  
• Spiritually superiority
  
• Religious legalism - can destroy trust and a willingness to be known
  
• Parent-child dimension
  
• Complaining / venting
  

Like everything else in the Christian life, our experience with accountability matures over time